ZACHARY'S STORY
Kelly was all geared up and prepared to care
for her new baby. Even though she
was a single mom, with no prior baby experience, she had a
great group of friends
who were eager to help.
Everything went smoothly for the first few weeks
but then Zachary began to have
terrible fussy periods in the afternoon. By the time he was
8-weeks-old, Kelly
couldn't take it anymore…
"Having a fussy baby and being
a single parent was a nightmare combination.
Zachary suffered from uncontrollable crying, sometimes up
to twelve hours
a day. Once launched into his fits, nothing soothed him. His
little fists
banged against my chest and each hit sank my confidence even
lower.
On top of all this, I
was a walking zombie. Zack would fall asleep but then
pop up again just a couple of hours later demanding to be
held and fed. I
was usually able to get him back to sleep pretty quickly and
I could ease him
back into his bassinet, but the instant I took my hands off
him he would
startle and start shrieking all over again. I felt like he
was intentionally
outsmarting me.
I believe that there are no "wrong"
or "bad" feelings, however, the despair
I felt when Zachary cried non-stop was almost unbearable.
I was enveloped
with a sense of utter powerlessness; combined with sleep deprivation
and
fear. And, I would have 'awful' feelings and thoughts. I had
rage and dark
waves of hopelessness. I felt robbed of those special bonding
times a
mother is supposed to have with her newborn, and I worried
so much that all
the tension inside me would affect him.
We were both so unhappy. Then, Dr. Karp
made a 10 P.M. house call that
started to turn things around. I was strangely happy that
Zack was
screaming when he arrived. Dr. Karp didn't comment on his
crying; rather
the first thing he said was that my apartment was too hot.
I set the room
temperature at 80°F to keep Zack comfortable. I noticed
my cats were
shedding tons of their fur, but I didn't realize at the time
this was because
of the heat, not because they were stressed out by my new
baby.
After cooling the apartment down, Dr. Karp
wrapped Zachary so tightly it
startled me. Even though he taught me how to swaddle Zack
at his 2-week
visit, I didn't do it because he fought me when I tried it.
It seemed to me
he didn't want to have his arms restricted. But, I have to
tell you…tight
swaddling became essential for calming him. He always fought
the blanket
at first, but once he got calm he stayed content like that
for hours.
Next, Dr. Karp put Zack on his lap and jiggled
him like someone riding on a
subway. I was amazed because this vigorous motion seemed to
put him into
some sort of a serene trance.
Finally, Dr. Karp placed my baby in the
swing on the fast speed with the
vacuum cleaner roaring right next to him. It seemed completely
wrong. It
seemed too intense for a brand new baby…but it worked
like magic. After 1
solid hour of shrieking these ridiculously simple tricks had
Zack sound asleep
within 3 minutes.
Despite my trepidations,
for the next couple days I practiced these
techniques over and over again. At first, my jiggling was
pathetic and Zack
wiggled out of the swaddling as fast as I could do it. I found
I had to be
more pushy…for his own good. Once I got the hang of swaddling,
I learned
to quiet him by whirling him around the room. Then I plunked
him into the
swing, grabbed it from behind and jiggled it back and forth,
with tiny jolting
movements, like he was on a bucking bronco. In seconds he
would relax and I
would let go of the swing and allow it to continue on its
own, the fast speed.
Soon, this routine became my secret formula for happiness.
After a few days of mastering
these skills, I finally got Zack to take a 3-
hour nap (a record for my boy). That same afternoon, when
his nanny came,
I exclaimed, 'I found the answer! Zachary's doctor says we
have to wrap
him tightly to get him to sleep!' She cried, 'No! No! Wrapping
a baby tight
is not fair to them, it's like torture.'
I showed her the method
and explained how well it had worked but she
refused to do it. However, I have to tell you, a few days
later, even she had
become convinced. I came home from a trip to the store to
find she
had Zack swaddled, swinging…and, asleep!
The new Zachary was much
more at peace! Instead of waking every 2 hours,
he began to sleep, swaddled and in the swing, from 9 PM to
3 AM. Then he
would eat and go back down until 5-6 AM. That came out to
a full 8 hours
for mom and baby! Although he still grunted a lot in his sleep,
as long as he
was tightly wrapped, he slept so deeply his groans didn't
wake him up.
I now know Zachary was
simply a child who needed three more months in the
womb, but the "Cuddle" method was the next best
thing. He just turned 3
months old and I don't need the rocking method too often because
he's so
much better. He has gone from being a baby with colic, to
a happy baby with
rarely any crying. He smiles, laughs and enjoys watching the
world!
By 4 months, Zachary was laughing out loud and
sleeping 8-11 hours a night with
no need of swings, swaddling or white noise. He was very capable
of self-soothing
by getting his hands to his mouth and sucking his fingers.
And, when he did get a
little fussy, Kelly would just swaddle him. Which she said
made him grin, as if he
was thinking, "Hey, I remember this from when I was a
baby!"
At 12 months, Zachary was a happy, sunny
boy. He was curious, passionate,
active and he loved hearty food that was as zestful as his
personality.
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