LESLIE'S STORY
“Last night at a restaurant, Nathan,
15 months, pooped, and I had to take his flailing little body
out to the car to get a fresh diaper on him. As he screamed
in protest, I tried acknowledging his feelings, ‘I know
you don’t want to leave the restaurant. I know you don’t
like it.’ But he was so mad and squirmy that I couldn’t
even change him. I gave Toddler-ese a try. I made fists and
started to beat the air, echoing what I thought was in his
mind, ‘You hate it. You hate it. You HATE it! YOU HATE
IT!! You HATE being here with your pants down. It’s
COLD!!! And you hate it, hate it, HATE IT!! You’re mad,
mad, MAD!’ I wasn’t shouting but I showed him
I really got his message.
“Then the coolest thing happened.
He suddenly looked at me with a face that was half-amused
and half mischievous, and he started to play with the mobile
hanging from the ceiling light. (I had earlier tried to get
him to look at it…without success.) As I cleaned up
the poop and put on a new diaper, I kept up a dramatic narration
about what he was doing. He stayed happy, and then I sang
a little song as I danced him back to the restaurant…feeling
like a perfect parent!”
PATTY"S STORY
“The Prehistoric Parenting model resonated
with me and my husband. We’d already noticed the gradual
transformation in our 26-month-old daughter from delightful
to Neanderthal, replacing her coos with yelps of ‘Me
do!’ and ‘No!’
“One day, when I told her that her shower was over,
she went ballistic! I love warm showers, so it was easy for
me to sympathize. ‘I know! I know! I KNOW!!!!’
I said, jabbing my finger at the showerhead. Using a serious
but loving face with wide-open eyes and lots of nodding, I
added, ‘You want shower! You want shower! You WANT IT!!!
You WANT IT!!!’
“Kira responded immediately! She stopped
crying and looked at my face with a hopeful glance. I shared
a few more ‘you want its’ with her, and then I
said, ‘You want to stay, stay, STAY!!! But, no, nooooooo.
I’m so sorry, sweetheart, we need to go, go, go and
get dressed! And your dolly wants some yummy breakfast.’
After a fake cry, she allowed me to dry and dress her, while
I discussed the exciting plans for our day.
“Now when I try to dress Kira, and she shouts, ‘No! Me do!’ I am
more apt to respond with understanding Toddler-ese. I say,
“Okay! You do! You do! You do! You do! You want to do
it yourself, right?’ Kira typically smiles sweetly,
with apparent relief, and says, ‘Yes.’ As she’s
struggling with her shirt, she puts up no resistance while
I slide on her pants and socks! I feel like a genius!
“An unexpected gift that I’ve
gotten from using Toddler-ese is that I actually feel closer
to her. Now when Kira makes an impossible demand, my Neanderthal
empathy magically makes her feel my love, and we enjoy a very
special moment of connection.”
|
