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BENJI'S STORY
One Saturday morning I was at my office seeing
the usual weekend sprinkling of
children with runny noses and soccer sprains. As I went to
meet my next patient I
heard a shriek that almost made the door vibrate. I quickly
walked in and saw the
back of a woman bouncing up and down; over her shoulder was
a tomato-red face
with tightly clenched eyes…it was Benji.
Benjamin, the 19-day-old son of Wendy and Steve,
was "ballistic". I asked if I
could take him for a second and despite his best kung-fu moves,
I got him
swaddled. Within less than a minute, he had quieted, entranced
by the vigorous
"windshield wiper" movement I was doing. I smiled
at Wendy and Steve. I could
see their shoulders starting to relax and I asked them to
tell me if this was typical
behavior for their boy.
Wendy said Ben had been screaming like this
for days…and nights.
"The first two weeks of Benjamin's
life he would not be put down. Unless he
was carried in a front carrier or rocked in my arms, he would
cry. If he had
been my first child, I might have been able to spend twelve
weeks with a
baby glued to my arms, but unfortunately my two year old had
other ideas."
Wendy said that they were confused because nothing
that had worked for
their first son, Eli, was helping this time.
"Eli loved swaddling.
I didn't discover it until he was 2-months-old, but, the
very first night I tried it he gave up his every 2 hour wakings
and slept 7
hours straight. I was terrified, but ecstatic!"
When my #2 son came along,
I confidently tried the wrapping trick, but
Benji reacted to it like I was sticking needles into him."
In my office, I discussed with Wendy and Steve,
Benji's sensitive temperament and
how that made it hard for him not to have the 4th trimester
he was "expecting".
Then, I went over the 5 S's in detail and had Steve practice
the DUDU wrap and
"windshield wiper" with me. Finally, I sent them
home with instructions to phone
me in 2 days to report their progress. When they left, Ben
was in a deep, peaceful
sleep.
Four days later, I got a call from Wendy...
"Things were not going too well
for us at home. Benji seemed to like the
bouncy seat and white noise, but he still hated the swaddling.
I continued
trying to wrap him, but he cried so much I was afraid it was
hurting him.
Steve was reluctant to wrap Ben because he struggled against
it so much
Steve was convinced he wasn't doing it right."
Wendy and Steve were very disappointed things
were not getting better. Ben still
only slept in 1-2 hour stretches and took a lot of effort
to soothe when he got
upset. They were worried because they knew the most colicky
period was not even
upon them yet. I encouraged them to persevere with all the
steps and reminded
them how important it was to do the swaddling exactly as I
had shown them.
Then, they turned the corner…
"I never would have believed it, but
the wrapping was the key to everything!
Our first son Eli never resisted being bundled up but Benji
fought it with all
his strength. However, it was only after he was tightly swaddled
that the
rocking, pacifier and shushing worked to calm him. (My guess
is other babies
react the same way, causing their parents to think they hate
it and give up.)
To my great relief, the combination of the
S's really worked. After a few
days of practice, I could put Benji down for hours at a time
with no problem.
Eventually, even Steve learned the DUDU (although it took
his being left
alone for half a day to get him motivated). Now, when Ben
is swaddled
perfectly he sleeps much of the day and for 7-9 hours at night
(with 1 very
brief feeding).
For naps, I always let our tiny son sleep
in the swing on the fast speed and
keep the noise machine on the swing tray table…on full
volume. Sometimes
when he's super upset, I put the sound machine closer to his
head for a
minute and then I move it down near his stomach.
Ben is now 6-weeks-old and at the peak of
what should be his worst time, but
when all five components of the Cuddle are in place Benji's
a pretty easy
baby. When he's wrapped, I can always calm him down in a minute
or
two…but, to be honest, as long as we do the "Karp
Cuddle", he doesn't cry
very much at all.
I've also noticed that Benji doesn't do
well if I let him have long (more than
½ hour) awake periods during the day. He gets over-stimulated
and has
great difficulty settling himself. So when he starts getting
cranky, I take
that as my cue to put him back in the swing and do my womb
imitation.
I recommend this method for anyone with
a 'difficult' baby. I can't imagine
what my mental state would be if I were still carrying him
all day and rocking
him all night. It has made an enormous difference for both
me and Benji, as
well as my first guys, Steve and Eli!"
At 2 months, Wendy visited her mom for a few weeks…without
the swing. Benji still calmed with the help of the Cuddle
but he did start waking up every 3 hours.
By 4 months of age, Benji had turned the
corner. He now was happy and smiling all day long and didn't
need any help from swinging, swaddling or sound to be able
to sleep from 6PM -7 AM every day with just one waking for
milk. Wendy called me to say that she had passed on my tips
to a friend in Missouri and her baby made a complete turn-around!
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